Sorrows and Red Wine XiuChen
by InseongStoleMaHeartu
Summary: "I beg you, baby, take me back." ! Explicit content. If you're uncomfortable with it don't read. You've been warned. !


"Wasn't that amazing?" asked the boy in his bed while Jongdae put his briefs back on.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Now I'd like you to leave."

"Come on Dae, don't be like this" the younger one approached the dark haired man in an attempt to kiss him but was roughly pushed against the wall. Jongdae had his hand around the boys neck and with a terrifying look in his eyes he got closer to his face.

"Don't you fucking dare call me that. And never try to kiss me again. Understood?"

The boy looked scared and when he finally regained his ability to breathe he quickly got dressed and left the other man's house.

Jongdae was once again left alone and hopeless. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get _him_ out of his head.  
It's been almost 2 years since they broke up and everyday was even harder without the man he loved, the man he will always love, by his side.  
The fact that it should've been their five years anniversary today didn't help either.

He tried to fuck the pain away, literally, but it was pointless. No matter how hard he tried, anything he did reminded him of Minseok. About their relationship and about their life together. Anything except for the sex. What was once a great pleasure now was only a mere desperate attempt at forgetting. It felt forced and disgusting. No one could ever compare to _his_ Minseok.

And because there are at least 4 hours left in this painful day, he decided that he should go out and try to distract himself again with another loose kid he finds in a bar.  
He took a shower and he put on a black pair of skinny leather pants, a white shirt and his black leather jacket. He styled his hair a little but not too much, to avoid looking desperate and applied a tad bit of eyeliner. After he was done he left the house and took his motorcycle to a gay club he went to almost every night.

It didn't take much for him to find a cute boy with big brown eyes dying to be 'loved'. So he bought the kid some drinks and when he was tipsy enough, he left the club to go home and try once again to forget about the man who literally held his heart.  
On the way he stopped at a store to buy some condoms but froze in the parking lot when he saw him..

His little and adorable Minseok was exiting the shop without a care in the world looking just as bright as he ever did.  
Was he really already over it?  
Did he already stop caring about Jongdae?  
Did he stop loving Jongdae?  
Watching the back of his soulmate as he left him once again was way too painful for him.  
He told the boy to fuck off before he entered the store and bought at least 5 bottles of red wine.

He arrived home feeling more dead than alive and wondering how could that man affect him in this way. No matter who he met or who he had sex with, no one made him feel the way Minseok did.  
Minseok made him feel loved and appreciated. Protected in a way, but not physical. He was whole when he was with Minseok and for 3 years it felt like that was his future. Minseok was his everything. His whole goddamn world resonated around the small man. He planned every little detail in his life with that man. But unfortunately, every good story comes to an end. Their end came when Jongdae made the biggest mistake of his life and cheated on the one man in his life he wished to never hurt. But he did and he will never in his entire life forget the pained and disappointed look in Minseok's eyes. He literally saw his whole life breaking down in a second, like he took everything the little man had to offer and left, leaving him with nothing. The look in his eyes was enough to make Jongdae realize that it was the end. He shattered Minseok's heart and no matter what he tried, he will never be whole again.

He opened all of the bottles thinking that if he gets drunk he won't be able to and he started pouring glass after glass.  
He knew it was impossible to drown these feelings, but he wished he himself could drown in all that alcohol.  
As more and more memories came back to him he downed full glasses of wine.

Oh, how happy he was next to Minseok and how he misses him. The way one part of his upper lip would go slightly higher than the other everytime that gorgeous smile appeared on his face, his beautiful, slightly puffy, cat-like brown eyes early in the morning, his angel voice, those adorable curls.. Everything about that damn man was simply perfect and he hated himself for ruining his life.

Half an hour later and he was done with crying. He gathered his courage and left his house.  
He zoned out for a second and in his drunken state he forgot what he was doing but he was quickly reminded when he faced a way too familiar building. He took a deep breath and without any hesitation he entered the building taking the elevator to the sixth floor.

Minseok was woken up at the aggressive sounds of someone knocking on his door. Who would've come at this hour?

He got up and walked to the door. He didn't expect to find his ex boyfriend there though. Drunk and looking like hell, crying as soon as he saw his face.

"What do you want here?"

"Minnie, oh, my sweetheart, I missed you so much you have no idea" he tried to hug the shorter man but managed to stumble and fall face first onto the floor.

"I will ask you to leave. You are completely wasted and I don't want you to wake up my neighbours. So, good night."

"No, baby, wait please. Let me in, I just wanna talk to you." he got up and approached Minseok lightly brushing his thumb across his cheek. The older man just slapped his hand away and looked directly into Jongdae's eyes.

"I don't want to talk to you. And never call me baby or touch me again. You lost that right when you decided I wasn't enough for you anymore. So please, leave and don't ever come back anymore. " no emotions showed in his eyes or voice and it made him seem kind of like a machine.

"I came by motorcycle.." the younger one mumbled trying to stop his tears.

"That is none of my concern anymore, Jongdae." The words were so harsh but why did he feel so happy. He got close to the older man again, this time cupping his cheeks with his hands and forcing him to make eye contact.

"Minseok, say that again. Say my name again."

"Leave"

"I beg you"

"Jongdae, leave. Now."

The younger male allowed a single tear to fall down his cheek upon hearing that beautiful voice say his name again.

"I want to spend the night."

"And I want you to leave."

"I will pay you." at that, Minseok's eyes grew wider than they already were.

"Do I look like a whore to yo-"

"I will pay you to let me spend the night in _our_ house. I will take the couch or any floor. At this point I cannot seem to find a reason to care. "

"You are crazy.."

"I am lonely" there was a long pause before the taller man started talking again.  
"I am missing you so much I am actually going crazy. It's so hard to live without you and I do regret everything. If there was something I could've done to change everything I would believe me. There isn't a day when I don't think about you, when I don't miss you. Minnie, I want you back into my life. I'll do whatever you want me to as long as it will make you take me back."

Minseok just watched him with empty eyes. If this happened a year or so ago, he would've dragged the younger man inside and never let him go again. But now he didn't know what he felt or what he wanted. He only felt empty. It didn't matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he should feel anything, he couldn't. He was literally numb.

"Please, babe. Let me in, just for tonight."

The older man rolled his eyes at that but thought that it was better to let him inside then to have him make a scene in front of the door.

"You're out if you touch me, you are not allowed in my room and I want complete silence i-" he was once again interrupted by the taller man suddenly hugging him. He sighed heavily knowing the drunk man won't listen to him. He locked the door after Jongdae was inside and started walking towards the kitchen realizing it was gonna be a long night.

"Why are you just staying there? Move."

"Uh, I was just looking around. You didn't change much." the older man realized that he was right. He made little to no changes around the house after he kicked his ex boyfriend out. The house was his only consolation after the break up and it made him feel less lonely. But now that he realized it, everything screamed Jongdae. Jongdae and him. He needed changes. Not tonight though.

"That will change soon. Now, do you maybe want a coffee? I'd offer you some wine but judging by the way you look, you had more than enough."

"I'll take the wi-"

"I said you had enough alcohol for tonight Jongdae." he said in a serious tone staring the younger man right in his eyes. Jongdae shivered but he didn't know if it was because of the tone or because Minseok was looking out for him. It didn't matter though cause the next second he hanged his head low like a sad puppy and murmured something.

"What?"

"I said a coffee please."

The short man turned his back to him and started preparing two coffees. When they were ready he took them and placed them on the table.

"Why did you come here? And don't blame it on the alcohol cause I know you are drunk almost everynight. Chanyeol told me about that club. And about your boy toys. So why did you come? What do you want from me?"

Jongdae's face froze and his eyes were about to pop off. Chanyeol told him everything? He needed to explain everything even if deep down he knew it was in vain..

"U-uhm.. What should I begin with?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a frustrated growl he looked back to the taller male.  
"With the fu.. With the beginning."

Jongdae thought about it for a second. The beginning.. When he cheated.. He wanted to apologize since he didn't do it even if he knew he had no right to ask for Minseok's forgiveness.

"I, uh.. "

"Why? Why did you do it? Was it my fault? I assume I wasn't enough anymore, but what could I have done? I.. I think I deserve an explanation.."

The younger man sighed and looked at his former boyfriend. Why was he blaming himself?

"Minseok, I.. I was an asshole. I saw that kid in a bar and he approached me. He flirted and wouldn't accept no as an answer. So I went with it thinking that you will never find out. I was dumb enough to think I'll get away with it." he stopped when he heard a sob from the tiny man.

"So that was your brilliant plan? To hide it from your boyfriend? We've been together for 3 fucking years Jongdae! And you cheated on me with a kid because he flirted with you? God knows how often it happened behind my back. I cannot fucking believe you."

"It only happened once!" he was angry at the accusation but realized Minseok was right. How could the man trust anything he said after that.

"One is enough anyway! I planned a future with you. Anything I've done was either with you or for you. And you go fuck some probably underage kid in the bathroom of a bar behind my back.. Why did you even spend 3 years of your precious life with me if I wasn't even enough for you?"

At that he became angrier. No one, not even Minseok had the right to doubt his undying love for him.

"I spent 3 years with you because I loved you.. Because I love you. I would do it again if I could believe me. There was never anything in my life more important then you to me. Nothing.. No one could ever compare to you in my eyes. But don't you ever dare doubt or belittle the feelings I have for you Kim Minseok. It's the only thing I won't allow you to ever do. You have no idea what is going on in my head. You have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking about how stupid I was." he was abruptly interrupted by the man in front of him.

"Before or after you fuck those sluts?"

"Both. Fucking both. If you care, sometimes even when I fuck those sluts. Does this make you feel any better?" the older man nodded his head but Jongdae knew it was a lie. Minseok could never be happy if someone around him was hurt. It didn't matter who it was. That's just the way the man was.

"You have no idea how shitty I feel and how much this affected me. I know I don't have any right to play the victim here but don't imagine that I lead a happy life. It's been almost two years and I still cry in the mornings when I don't see you next to me when I wake up. I still buy food for two people from time to time and I try to play it off like I did it on purpose to eat it the next day too, but I know that it was meant for you. I still have that cringy picture of us next to my bed and I still sleep with one of your shirts. So don't you imagine I am happy without you in my life."

When he saw Minseok looking at him he realized he broke that shell that he desperately created after Jongdae left. The empty look in his eyes disappeared and now there was only sadness. He knew he reopened the wound and he didn't know if he should be happy or not. Minseok getting over the breakup was the best thing for the smaller man, but he couldn't stop the slightly happy feeling he felt realizing that he wasn't in fact over him. He watched him break down slowly and hoped that there was even a tiny chance that Minseok would want him back.

"You love me?" he let out a forced laugh before he got up to leave the kitchen but he was stopped by the other man. He turned his head to find the taller on his knees hugging his legs.

"I need you Minseok, I cannot live without you anymore. Please, don't leave me again. I know it was my fault but I will try anything to make it up to you."

"Jongdae.."

"I swear baby I won't hurt you ever again. I am miserable without you and my life doesn't have a meaning anymore.."

"Jongdae"

"It's painful to wake up knowing that you aren't there with me. So, please.. I beg you baby, take me back-"

"Dae!"

The younger man's head snapped at the nickname.  
Minseok slowly and gently brushed the tears on his cheek.

"Prove it."

Jongdae knew what that meant and without any hesitation he got up and kissed the smaller man. It was full of desperation and it felt surreal to kiss Minseok again. He felt like he was finally whole again. That's what he waited for for the last 2 years of his life and he wouldn't let it slip. He needed to show Minseok that they were made for each other. That no one could ever complete him like Jongdae.

It took Minseok a moment to realize what was happening but when he finally did he started to kiss the younger back. He would lie if he said he didn't miss it. He was so happy he was afraid Jongdae will realize he wasn't the only one who missed their relationship.

The kiss deepened as Jongdae lifted the small man and placed him on the table. Minseok wrapped his legs around the taller man's waist and his hands around Jongdae's neck as he was being carried. They only broke the kiss when Minseok roughly pulled Jongdae's shirt over his head but before he could kiss the other man again, the dark haired man started kissing his neck. Sloppy kisses and light bites were placed all over his sensitive neck and he turned his head to give the other man more access. He suddenly let out a loud moan when Jongdae traced his tongue over a certain spot and the younger man bit it making Minseok cling onto him tighter. Loving the new found proximity Jongdae started moving his hips, rubbing their crotches together. He looked back at his ex boyfriend to realize that he completely lost him. His pupils were so big his eyes were basically black and he became a moaning mess, rocking his hips more and more aggressively every time.

"Baby, let's take it slow."

Minseok glared at him but kept on moving his hips.

"Not all of us are sluts like you and have sex everyday. I need this right now. I need you right now Dae."

"Don't tell me you didn't have sex with anyone after our break up."

The older man blushed and for some reason known only by him Jongdae got harder.

"Oh, baby, I will fuck you so hard right now you won't be able to move for the next week."

He started kissing him again until Minseok tried to unbuckle Jongdae's belt. His hand was slowly taken away and the taller man pressed his lips gently in his palm.

"As much as I miss our kitchen sex, I won't fuck you here. This needs to be special." Minseok suddenly grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer.

"Then better move me to the bedroom cause I cannot fucking wait anymore." he knew he sounded desperate but he couldn't help it. He wanted Jongdae back so bad it physically hurt.

Without complaining Jongdae lifted the other man again and walked to their bedroom but suddenly stopped in front of the door.

"Am I allowed to enter the bedroom?" Jongdae knew he probably needed this more than Minseok but he just loved to tease the small man.

"Dae I swear to God if you don't enter the room in the next 5 seconds and fuck me through that fucking mattress I will kick you out and call someone to finish this."

Feeling a rush of jealousy and angriness, Jongdae kicked the door open and threw Minseok on the bed.

"You asked for it."

Minseok smirked before suddenly getting up and dropping on his knees before Jongdae. He finally took the belt off and pulled off every piece of material covering Jongdae's lower region. The taller man gasped when Minseok grabbed his hard penis but started growling soon when the smaller man licked the sensitive head.

"Min- I swear to God. Stop teasing me or I'll fuck that pretty mouth of yours."

The older man looked up making eye contact and Jongdae could've sworn he almost came right then and there. But he had to hold on, he had to make it special for the both of them. Minseok went lower and licked his dick from the base to the head, slowly grazing his teeth over the vein. He suddenly took it whole inside his mouth not breaking eye contact with his former lover. The older man grabbed his hair to keep his head in place while he started thrusting inside his mouth.

"Oh my God, baby, I forgot how good this was" he moaned and sped up. Minseok grabbed one of his thighs for support and with the other hand he started playing with the younger's sack. Jongdae's grasp got tighter and he moaned as he threw his head back.

"Stop this before I cum-" He was cut off when Minseok lightly scratched his lower back and kept on working his balls. Without caring anymore Jongdae pulled the older man's hair roughly stopping his head and went in for a heated desperate kiss before forcefully shoving his dick back into his mouth and fucking his face again. He felt he was close soon but he didn't want to stop it. Minseok was too good at this. So he sped up again and when he finally felt it he screamed Minseok's name before stopping suddenly and shooting his load straight into the other man's throat. After coming back down from his high he realized what he had done and he looked down at Minseok, preparing to apologize when he saw the other man looking up to him with the most erotic expression he ever saw, swallowing everything Jongdae gave him. He immediately dropped on his knees and started kissing Minseok.

"God, baby you are so perfect, you have no idea how sexy you are right now. Don't ever let anyone else see you like that. Understood?" then he suddenly started sucking and biting one spot on Minseok's neck marking his territory. "Never" He then lifted Minseok by his hand and placed him on the bed. He went to the nightstand near the bed and looked for something in the drawer. He turned around with a smirk holding something in his hand.

"I'm glad you still have these. Today is my lucky day apparently."

The older man blushed but stuck his hands out in front of Jongdae. The other man smirked and cuffed Minseok.

"Such a good boy. Now turn around."

Without questioning anything he turned around and the taller man blindfolded him.

"Now, baby, let's have some fun."

Jongdae undressed Minseok and helped him get on his knees, lightly pushing him down with his ass sticking up and he got on his knees between the older man's legs. The blond man left out a surprised gasp when he felt Jongdae's tounge on his inner thigh going up and softly biting his ass cheek before starting to lick at his hole. He moaned loud when the brunette slowly pushed his tongue inside.

"Fuck! D-Dae- S-stop-p"

The younger one smirked before lifting his head and opening the bottle of lube. He coated three fingers and he inserted one painfully slow inside Minseok. The older one cursed loud enough for the whole building to hear him and started rocking his hips back needing more. Jongdae suddenly pulled his finger out and spanked the blond man hard.

"Stop moving or I will end this here."

"Y-yes."

Jongdae pushed the other two fingers inside at the same time making Minseok curse.

"Shh baby, it's okay. It's gonna be okay."

He kept fingering him, scissoring him open. Minseok started sobbing silently and rocked his hips back.

"What did I say?" Jongdae practically shouted as he took his fingers out. The older man turned around in surprise and held his hand almost crying.

"D-Dae, I'm sorry. I am really sorry. Please don't do this to me. Please baby I need it. I need you tonight. Please."

Jongdae's heart hurt a little seeing his baby like this but he loved when Minseok begged for him. Usually he was an independent, composed and mature man. He loved to see how much he can affect him like this.

"Are you saying this only because you're desperate for relief or because you really need ME?"

Minseok knew where this was going. Jongdae wanted him to say it was because of him. And it really was. Nobody could ever have this effect on him. He missed his boyfriend so much and he didn't care about getting over him anymore. He wanted Jongdae back with him. In their house. He knew it would hurt him like a bitch after, but he couldn't be anymore without the younger man. He started crying softly and reached his hands out.

"I need you Dae. I only need you. I don't care anymore. You'll probably hurt me more but I really don't care anymore. I want you back.. Come back home Dae.. p-please."

Jongdae's eyes went wide and he quickly untied Minseok's blindfold.

"Baby, please don't cry. I am so sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I wanted this to be special. Please, stop crying baby I am here now. I won't hurt you anymore." He hugged him close and kissed his forehead. "I can't believe I made you cry again. I am so sorry Seokie. Please forgive me baby."

The shorter man tried to say something but nothing came out. He looked at his former boyfriend and saw his sad eyes. He didn't mean to upset the younger. He kissed him to let him know that he was forgiven.

"I don't know but this is such a sad thing. It feels like a final kiss. Tell me I'm wrong.. Please Minseok." He had tears in his eyes and looked at the floor expecting an answer when he was suddenly smacked over the head.

"You are as dumb as before really. I just said I want you back home, how can you say it's a final kiss pabo?"

Jongdae laughed a little before facing Minseok.

"So does that mean you take me back? Are you.. Are we..?"

"You're so slow I can't believe it sometimes."

They kissed again, this time full of love and adoration. Jongdae took Minseok's handcuffs off and laid him on the bed. He kissed his neck leaving hickeys from his neck down to his inner thighs. He took the lube bottle coating his fingers again and looked at his boyfriend for confirmation and when he saw the older man with his eyes closed biting his lip he decided it was alright to continue. He entered his finger again this time more gentle and careful. He took his time entering the second and the third fingers making sure Minseok was feeling good.

"P-please, Dae" that's all he could say until the younger's fingers brushed his prostate and he screamed the younger's name loud. Jongdae pushed his fingers in faster hitting his prostate every single time.

"Baby I'll"

"Don't." He stopped moving his fingers for a while and Minseok tried to move his hips but was stopped. "I said don't. Be a good boy for me Seok. I promise it will feel amazing." The older man nodded his head with tears in his eyes.

Jongdae started moving his fingers again but this time he took Minseok's dick in his hand and started rubbing it gently. The blond man bit his lip hard enough to feel the taste of blood. He started spasming and the younger man stopped moving again. When Minseok calmed down a little he started moving his hands again.

"B-baby, pl-please. I.. Please."

The younger man smirked and with a last hard thrust of his fingers he got his fingers out leaving Minseok to catch his breath for a little while he coated his dick with lube. Seeing that the smaller man tried to turn around so he can lay on his stomach he caught him by his hand.

"Don't turn. I want to see your face baby."

He blushed but complied and Jongdae aligned his dick with Minseok's entrance. He kissed him and pushed all of it inside making the older man shout as he came all over his perfectly sculpted abs. The younger man felt himself getting harder everytime Minseok's beautiful body spasmed. Without being able to control himself anymore he started pounding inside the other man like his life depended on it.

"S-stop! Dae, this is t-too much. Stop."

Jongdae tried to control himself for a bit to see if Minseok was alright but he lost everything when he saw his boyfriend with tears in his eyes desperately moving his hips, basically fucking himself on his dick. He kissed him lightly and murmured an apology in the blond's ear before he started fucking him fast again.

"Baby, you are so fucking beautiful right now. I love you so much Seok." He felt himself getting closer and closer to his relief but he couldn't just yet. He had to make sure his boyfriend also felt good. He suddenly hit his prostate dead on and Minseok scratched his back hard cursing and moaning for Jongdae to keep going.

The younger man kept thrusting hard hitting his prostate every time loving how Minseok tightened his ass around him. He looked down at his boyfriend when he felt the older's hands slide down on the bed. He gripped the sheets until his knuckles turned white and curled his toes moaning Jongdae's name like a mantra. He took it as a sign and hugged Minseok fucking him like there was no tomorrow. They both needed relief now.

"D-dae! I'll.."

Jongdae shut his mouth by kissing him and pounded into him harder. Minseok saw stars as he came for the second time that night, clenching his muscles around Jongdae's cock sending him over the edge. Thrusting erratically into the older man and moaning loud he came deep inside his boyfriend.

He fell and Minseok caressed his back softly.

"I love you so much Kim Minseok. I really am sorry for everything. I promise you I won't hurt you anymore. You are everything that I need baby. I feel so bad for everything. I know you will probably never forgive me, but I promise I'll find a way to make it up to you.." He looked up to see his boyfriend sleeping.

"I am so sorry Seokie."

The next morning Minseok was woken up by the light of the sun. He got up and tried to remember what happened last night.

"Dae?" he looked around the house and started crying when he realized he was once again alone.

 _'Why was I so stupid. Why did I trust him? I am only another one of his whores..'_

The whole day he only watched television and mindlessly drank three full bottles of red wine while crying. He heard his door unlock but he was too drunk to fully realize what was happening so he just kept on watching the tv.

"Minseok?! What are you doing? Why are you drinking?" He suddenly turned his head and jumped in Jongdae's arms crying.

"Babe, are you ok? What happened here? Are you..? Why are you drunk?"

The older man just cried and kissed him.

"I thought you left me.. Why weren't you here when I woke up?!"

"You told me to stay. Why would I leave when I was the one that came back to you? I swear to God sometimes you make no sense babe. You invited me back so I went home to pack and bring my stuff."

Minseok fell on his knees crying and shaking hard.

"Minseok, are you really ok? You are worrying me to death."

"I love you Kim Jongdae. Never leave me again.. I beg you."

The younger one hugged Minseok tight before he took him up and carried him to the bed.

Maybe he wasn't the only one messed up after their break up.. 

**Okay so that was it. I really hope you like this one. It was so hard to write cause I am so uncomfortable writing anything sexual (and this is the reason it sucks). I am sorry I put you through this, I really suck at smut and it was only my second time writing it so I hope it's not actually horrible cause I really wanted to write some XiuChen.. Sorry for the cringe. ? Ly.**


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